There Is No Arizona
by Lelila Solo
Summary: My version of how the whole Africa situation should have gone. My muse did get into it. So I hope you enjoy. Rated M for sexual content.


A/N: This is my first foray into Grey's Anatomy fanfiction. Warning: mature content.

* * *

As she stormed away, she could feel a pair of eyes boring into her back. She shook her head at herself and took a deep breath. She turned, the words I'm sorry hanging on her lips. But what greeted her chocolate eyes was an empty hallway. Her breath hitched in her throat and she felt the tears welling up. But she would not cry, she would not break down. Not here. Not her. She was Callie Torres, she made bones and cartilage like God, she would not break down.

* * *

"Arizona," the voice came, barely a whisper. The blonde looked up from her place on the floor. Meredith Gray was looking over her, holding out a hand to help her up. Arizona braced herself against the wall and took Meredith's hand. Before she could turn, Meredith was talking, "She's gone. She walked off when she didn't see you."

"She looked?" Arizona said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"She is Callie." The resident stared at the peds attending. They had never really shared more than a few words outside of professional bounds. "I've dealt with the consequences of her relationships ever since I started working here. In fact, she almost killed me once. Torres doesn't take her relationships lightly." Meredith nodded at Arizona and then turned and walked off. Arizona watched her go; she would never understand that woman's mind. Once Meredith was in the elevator, Arizona whipped her head around and checked the hallway Callie had stormed down. She was gone. Arizona slumped back to the floor and let out a sob.

* * *

Down the hall and around the corner, Callie missed the sound of Arizona's sobbing because she was lost in her own. They had come through so much, the baby thing, the shooting, moving in together, returning to normalcy. And now, something that had come as a complete shock was going to tear them apart again. It had come out of nowhere. Arizona had never once mentioned applying for the Carter Madison Grant. Granted it had been two years ago, and they hadn't been together, hell they hadn't even known each other. But how could she throw all they had away for something that she didn't want anymore. She couldn't understand.

* * *

Arizona knew Callie was upset. Callie knew why she had to do it. This wouldn't be the first time she had compartmentalized her life and put herself on hold. But it would be the first time she had ever knowingly broken the heart of someone else. For the first time in her life, Arizona Robbins didn't know what to do.

Africa and the grant was such a big opportunity for the advancement of pediatric surgery. But she was at a place in her life where she finally thought she could focus on herself. Settle down. She had found the woman that she truly wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And she hadn't even wanted to date her in the first place! Calliope Torres was her whole world. Life didn't make sense to Arizona without Callie in the picture. But she hated long distance relationships. She told Callie before that she didn't believe in them, and that was when Callie was going to move to Portland, or Cleveland. This was countries, continents away.

She had demanded, commanded that Callie was not going to move away. How could she do to Callie what she wouldn't let Callie to do her? But how could she turn down the Carter Madison? Especially after the Chief had announced it on the documentary and made her the poster child of the hospitals return to greatness. It was all so stressful, and it had to happen now. She had to make the decision. The Grant Committee wanted her to fly out by the end of the week. Callie or Africa? Callie or Africa? Her heart or her career?

Teddy Altman found Arizona right where Meredith said she would, slumped against the wall in the quiet peds ward nurses' station. She crouched down in front of her friend and tilted her head to the side, trying to get a better look at the blonde. "Callie isn't too happy with the grant is she?"

Arizona looked up, shocked, "Of course she is, she knows what it means."

Teddy sat back, "Then what is it?"

"Teddy, I have to move to Africa. I committed myself to this when I applied. I can't break that commitment."

"But can you leave Callie behind?" the cardio surgeon stated. It wasn't a question. "Arizona, she makes you happy, happier than you've ever been. And according to a certain McSteamy, you make her the happiest she's ever been. I know what the Carter Madison means, but is it worth it to you?"

"I can't back down Teddy, it's who I am."

"You can't back down from what, Arizona?"

* * *

Callie bit into her arm as she sobbed, so she knew she was still real. Sure, she understood why Arizona had to go, but that didn't make it any easier to realize that her whole world was again crumbling around her. She had thought Arizona was the one. She had thought the rest of her life was done, planned, in her hands. Arizona was the one. They had moved in together. She had repainted the apartment. She had fought and eventually made amends with her family.

The thought of the perky blonde not being in her apartment anymore, not sharing her bed, her life, anymore bent Callie over double. She barely registered the hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles or the voice gently calling her. She found herself being lifted into Mark's arms until she was standing against him, his strong hands holding her head close to his chest. She slowly led her away from the peds ward, towards the closest on call room. He sat her down on the bed before locking the door and grabbing a box of tissues from a supply closet.

"What, what I am going to do Mark?" she choked out. "She has to go."

"You know what you have to do Torres," he said.

"I can't let go, Mark."

"Of what Torres?" Mark knew his best friend. She would forgive Arizona for contemplating Africa. Hell, if Robbins went to Africa and then came back, Callie would still forgive her and move on. But he didn't know if Callie knew that. And he didn't know if Callie was capable of making the healthy decision and letting go of Arizona. She was happier than he had ever seen her. Arizona was her one and only. He didn't know what would happen if the wheelie sneaked peds surgeon took off for Africa, but he knew it would completely destroy Callie and the heart that Robbins had helped her heal.

Callie racked with sobs, and she fell into Mark's easy embrace. "She's my everything Mark."

"I know Torres, I know."

When she awoke the next morning, her arm immediately shot out to curl around the petite body on the other side of the bed and pull it to her. But her arm met nothing but air. Jolted awake by the coolness of the sheets and the absence of life, she remembered yesterday. She rolled out of bed and walked into the living room. No sleeping blonde graced her couch. Surely Arizona wouldn't have left already, without saying goodbye. Surely her life wouldn't walk away the same way Erica had. Quickly slipping into some clothes, she made her way out into the city streets of Seattle as her feet walked the familiar path to their bench in the park. No Arizona. She kept walking until she reached an apartment complex on the other side. Finding the familiar numbers of Arizona's apartment, she slid the key into the lock and twisted the nob. The apartment was stripped of everything. It was as if Arizona had never lived there.

She collapsed. Arizona was gone. Arizona had made her choice. Arizona had chosen to break Callie's heart. She clutched the key tightly in her hand as silent tears collided with the hardwood floor. "Zona," she mouthed, only the breath of a whisper escaping her lips. "Zona, what didn't I do?"

* * *

Arizona checked in on the last of her patients before meeting Teddy in the parking lot. The U-Haul full of her belongings loomed ominously before her and she silently climbed into the passenger side. Teddy squeezed her hand and pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards the storage units on the other side of the city that would be home to Arizona's stuff for the time being.

"I didn't see Callie," Arizona said. "Do you know if she came in?"

"I don't know Arizona; maybe she works a later shift today?" Teddy asked thoughtfully. "Could you have gotten her schedule mixed up?"

"No, I'm pretty sure she was supposed to be in this morning."

* * *

Callie was going to be late for work. She knew the Chief would demand an explanation. She didn't think a broken heart would cut it when there were broken bones laying in the ER. Maybe he would cut her a break with the tv crews still being there. She slipped past the security guards quickly and headed to the locker room, praying that she wouldn't see Arizona. Her eyes searched furiously up and down the hallways.

"Torres, you look like you're going mad," Mark said, coming up to her from a nurses' station. "Don't worry, Arizona and Teddy just left."

Panic filled her eyes. A strangled cry made it between her lips before Mark corrected himself. "To go put some stuff in a storage unit across town, they'll be back."

"She made her decision Mark. She's leaving. She's leaving me."

Mark sighed. "Torres, go change, get rounding, the Chief will be on you soon. Get cleaned up and get your game face on. The cameras are everywhere."

* * *

They found each other.

"Do they not exist for you?" Callie pleaded. They had been arguing for an hour. "Our dreams, our plans? Do they not exist for you, Arizona?" Her eyes searched pale skin for a hint of an answer.

"Of course they do Calliope. But this is bigger than you and me. This is the future of medicine. It's why I became a doctor," she said. After a pause she continued, "I don't want to leave you."

"I don't want you to leave me either."

They stood in silence, starting at each other. Callie's eyes watched Arizona's features as she struggled to say something. She was really going to choose Africa. Callie saw it, and there was nothing she could say to change her mind. "Come with me."

"Do what?" Callie snapped out of her internal dialogue.

"Come with me, Calliope."

"Oh no, don't you Calliope me. Come with you? Come _with_ you? What is there for me in Africa? What would I do? I didn't get a huge grant, Arizona, I wouldn't have funding. Where would my research go? I just created cartilage from nothing. From nothing, Arizona. I'm supposed to go on tour with that research in two months. I can't just drop it. I can't bring it with us. How is that even an option? There is nothing for me in Africa, Arizona. Nothing yet."

"You could at least be happy -"

"I thought we were happy!" Callie exclaimed. The door opened and Alex Karev walked into the room, trailed by the documentary camera team. Callie sighed in frustration.

"Do I need to come back?"

"No," Callie snapped with a pointed look at Arizona, "we're done here." Throwing the patient file in her hand onto the table, she stalked out of the room with a glare in the direction of the cameras.

Deciding that the drama was better with Callie, the crew trailed after her, leaving Arizona and Alex alone. "What, Karev?"

"Scans," he handed them to her. He tried to stay as far away from the lesbian drama as possible.

"Shit," Arizona cursed. Alex stared at her; Robbins didn't usually cuss more than the odd damn here and there. He stood there as the attending crumbled in on herself. "Shit, shit, shit."

* * *

"She won't come with me."

"I'm surprised you even asked .You know what her career is to her. She's at the top of her game. She's the best of the best and rising quickly. How can you even ask her to give that up, much less expect her to?" Teddy shook her head.

"Either way, you're asking her to give up her life."

Arizona whipped her head around sharply at the sound of Mark Sloan's voice. "You were not invited into this conversation, Mark." She injected venom into his name.

"If you turn this grant down, what will you lose Robbins? If you accept, what's the trade off? You aren't the only one in the picture here like you were when you applied. Think about Callie. You have to think about the big picture."

"Do you think I don't know that?" she snapped. Teddy gave Mark a stern look and an imperceptible shake of her head.

* * *

Callie slumped into the bed in the on call room. She was exhausted, she couldn't cry anymore. Everything hurt. Her hands were shaking now that she was far away from the OR. Her patient would be fine. Her heart, she wasn't so sure. Rolling onto her side, she wished for the presence of Arizona. To be snuggled up and happy and taking a much deserved nap. Just as she was closing her eyes, the door flew open and a screeching blonde woman was backing into the room.

"-know that? She's everything to me. You all are acting like I want to break her heart. Like I'm doing this on purpose. Can't you see it's breaking me too?" Slamming the door shut, she spun around.

"They know its breaking you too," Callie said, the blonde jumping at the sound of an unexpected voice.

"I'm so-sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here. I'll just, umm, I'll just-" she stammered.

"Zona," Callie barely whispered. Arizona was on her in a second, climbing on top of her prone form and locking her lips onto Callie's. She kissed Callie hungrily, pushing her tongue into the brunette's mouth. Callie groaned as Arizona's milky skin slid against her bronze skin, hands slipping under blue scrub tops. Arizona pulled her up enough to rip the top over her head and get her hands under Callie's back to quickly get rid of her bra. Then her hands were on Callie, kneading her full breasts. Callie arched her back in pleasure as Arizona flicked her nipples with a deft tongue. "Zona."

Arizona wasn't listening to her; instead she kissed up Callie's collarbone and along her shoulder, gently biting the skin of her lover before latching onto the base of her neck. Callie hissed and her nails dug into Arizona's back. "How long do you have?"

Callie fought the haze in her head, "What?"

"How long do you have?"

"An hour."

"Good." Before Callie could ask why Arizona had pulled her own top over her head and was lapping at Callie's erect nipples. She sucked one into her mouth, rolling her tongue against it while her fingers found Callie other breast. Callie's gasp was all the encouragement she needed. She caught the nipple between her teeth, biting the way she knew the Latina loved. She moved to the other breast and her hands slipped down to Callie's waist, working the scrubs down her hips and thighs. She bit and nipped the plain of Callie's stomach, while her fingertips stroked the inside of her thighs.

Callie pushed her fingers into Arizona's hair, willing her to go down on her. Instead, Arizona slunk back up and kissed Callie hard on the lips before pulling her scrub pants off. "Lay back, close your eyes." Arizona growled. Callie did as she was told. She felt her legs being pulled apart and then felt the warmth of Arizona between them. Her breath hitched when she felt warm breath on her swollen folds. When Arizona's tongue made contact, she moaned loudly, her back arching and subsequently pushing her hips against Arizona's tongue. "Ah, ah, Ari," she gasped. "Ari please."

Arizona's tongue swirled against Callie's clit and she pushed three fingers into her. The appreciative grunt made Arizona smile and she immediately began thrusting hard. Callie's hands clenched in her hair. Callie ground her hips into Arizona's fingers, feeling her release build and build. Arizona put a fourth finger inside her as she shifted up to kiss Callie's bruised lips. "Ari, p-p-please," Callie gasped. Arizona was keeping her at the height of ecstasy.

Arizona's lips were against her ear, muffling moans and hot sighs bringing her closer and closer. Then Arizona said one word, "Come," and curved her fingers as she thrusted deep. Callie felt herself shatter. She heard herself scream. She tasted herself as Arizona's lips descended on hers again. Feather light kisses kept her conscious.

"I love you Calliope Torres."

In that moment, Callie thought Arizona had changed her mind, but when she opened her eyes, there were tears streaming down Arizona's cheeks. Her heart sank again. "Baby," her hand cupped Arizona's chin and her thumb brushed away the tears.

Arizona sank into Callie. "I'm breaking."

"Arizona," Callie sighed into blonde hair.

That was all Callie had to say. Tears flooded her cheeks. "You're all I ever wanted, Callie. You're my whole world. You're home."

"But, you have to go," Callie said, choking back her own sobs.

"Callie, I can't." Arizona looked into her eyes. The question Callie most wanted to ask was answered in those deep blue eyes. Tears slid out undetected to roll down a heartbroken face.

Callie pulled Arizona close and breathed her in. "I'll wait for you."

When she woke, Arizona couldn't remember if Callie had actually spoken those words or if she had dreamed them. She looked at the sleeping form of her love with a sad smile. Quietly, she pulled her clothes back on and straightened her hair. With one last look, she gently closed the door behind her and rushed off to answer the pages that she had received during her nap.

* * *

Callie awoke empty and cold. Arizona had left. She had probably gotten a page. Callie roused herself from the bed and slowly collected her things from the floor. She understood why Arizona had to leave. This was so different from when she was contemplating moving to Portland or Cleveland. Arizona understood why she couldn't go with her. It was back to wanting different things. _No,_ Callie thought. It was back to being different people. Arizona made a commitment. Callie had to let her fulfill it.

As she walked down towards her patient rooms, she noticed a folded up piece of paper in her scrub top pocket. She slowed to a stop as she unfolded it.

_Baby,  
I had to go answer a page, or three. I get off at six. I have two more surgeries today.  
Callie, I leave tomorrow.  
Can we have one more night?  
I love you._

Callie leaned into the wall for support. "Tomorrow," she whispered through clenched teeth. Tomorrow Arizona was leaving for Africa. Tomorrow she would watch the love of her life walk out of it. Tomorrow, she would be alone again. Yes, she would have one more night with Arizona.

* * *

During her second surgery, with the Chief assisting, Arizona's resolve began to crumble. She pressed onward, willing the surgery to get finished so she could run. Run far away. Her hand shook and she momentarily handed the tool to the nurse so she could flex her hand. She noticed Webber giving her a strange look, but to his credit he didn't say anything.

The gallery was packed, as usual. But Callie hung in the back, watching Arizona work. _For the last time_. She smiled at the strong confidence her lover displayed, the quick intuition. That kid was going to be fine.

After the surgery, Webber and Arizona were scrubbing out. "Robbins, you are under an extreme amount of pressure. And I just wanted you to know, that it's really doing this hospital some good. Our very own Pediatric Attending winning that Carter Madison Grant, moving to Africa to work with children who have little to no hope. That's progress," he said, beaming at her.

"I know Chief."

"But," he said, looking at her thoughtfully. "It will take a lot to get used to Africa. The Grant committee will understand if you get over there and can't adjust. Only certain people can do it."

"I can Chie-"

"Only _certain_ people can do it. It doesn't mean you'll be backing out of a commitment. It just isn't the right path for you." He wiped his hands off on a towel. "Just something to think about."

She stared at him, bewildered. "Th-thank you, Chief."

"You are leaving tomorrow, correct?"

"Yes."

He nodded, "Well, I'm glad I'm one of the last who got to work with you. Now, I think there is someone waiting for you. To say goodbye." And with that he walked out of the door. "Good luck, Arizona."

* * *

The floor flung wide open and Arizona walked in, shut the door, and locked it. She set her bag down on the kitchen counter along with her keys. She took a deep shaky sigh. Callie's door was closed. She closed her eyes briefly and steeled herself. She twisted the knob and walked into the room. Their room.

The lights were off. Which was strange. Callie knew she was coming, and it wasn't late. As her eyes tried to adjust to the light, she searched for the switch. She found it and flipped the lights on.

"Hey baby," a voice purred.

* * *

Callie stood in the airport, waiting for Arizona to get her stuff together. She was stiff, stoic, unwavering. They had their night together last night. Arizona was going to Africa. Callie was going to stay here, in Seattle. She grabbed one of the bags and threw it over her shoulder, plastering the fakest smile she'd ever conjured up onto her face and walking towards the terminal. It was quiet, they couldn't pretend that this was okay. But, they were doing it.

When they had gone as far as they could go together, Callie turned to Arizona. "You have everything?"

"Ye-yes," Arizona said. _No. I don't have you._

Callie nodded and handed Arizona the bag she had been carrying. Arizona let go of everything and launched herself into Callie's arms. "I don't want to hurt you Callie. I love you. I love you more than anything in the world."

Callie soothed her, trying her hardest to hold back the tears. "You have to go Ari, you have to do what you need to do. I'm not going anywhere. I love you too." She caught Arizona's lips in a sweet soulful kiss. "I love you too."

Arizona reluctantly pulled away. Her flight would be leaving soon. She grabbed her bags and walked away from her world.

Zipping her jacket, Callie watched her go until the crowd obscured her view. "Don't leave me," she whispered. "Don't leave me Arizona. Don't leave me." Her heart shattered, the tears streamed down her cheeks. Her breath would not come, she gasped for oxygen. She doubled over as passersby watched her curiously and worriedly. A woman came up to her. "Dear, are you okay?"

Emergency personal ran past Arizona in the direction she had just come. She tried to see what they were running to. "Relax, they are doctors too, I have a job to do and they are doing theirs." Then her flight was called and she made her way onto the plane.

* * *

She woke in Seattle Grace Mercy West. An IV dripped slowly into her arm. Mark Sloan was staring at her concerned. There was no Arizona. She sighed, snapping Sloan out of his reverie. He came over to the bed and sat on the edge. "What happened?"

"You had a panic attack. You passed out. Lucky you had your badge on you, they knew to bring you right here," Sloan explained quickly.

"How long have I been out?"

He laughed, "About a day and a half."

_But there is no Arizona._ "Arizona-"

"She was most likely already on the plane, Callie." This brought fresh tears to her eyes. Mark engulfed her as she shed the tears and emotion that had been building. She clutched his lab coat, crying into his chest.

"She's gone, Mark." She sobbed, "She didn't look back."

"Cals, maybe that's how she had to do it." It hurt him to see his best friend this devastated. He swore then and there if that blonde perky pain in the ass ever came back he would hit her, he didn't care if she was a girl. Well, he would at least rough her up a little bit.

* * *

Arizona had been in Africa for a week. A long, lonely, miserable week. This was not how she thought this was going to be. She had unlimited funding, but limited doctors with limited talent. Limited work space and limited tools. These children faced not only limited access to doctors, but to nutrition, to proper housing, to proper clothing. This was not her dream. Her dream was to change the face of medicine, not raise the standard of living in Africa.

She was beginning to realize that her dreams had drastically changed when Calliope Torres had entered her life. When Calliope Torres had become her life. She had been able to get a letter out to Callie when she first got to Africa, but since then she had been so busy that it wasn't possible to communicate with anyone. This was why only single, crazy German scientists got this award. She couldn't help but wonder what Callie's cartilage experiment could mean to kids. How if they worked together they could change pediatric orthopedics. She couldn't stop thinking about Callie. It made getting used to her new line of work that much harder.

Finally, she broke. In a quiet room she let it go. The tears flowed unabashed. Her keening wails filled the room. It all came rushing back to her.

"_If you turn this grant down, what will you lose Robbins? If you accept, what's the trade off?"_

"_Our dreams, our plans? Do they not exist for you, Arizona?"_

"_I thought we were happy!"_

"_It will take a lot to get used to Africa. The Grant committee will understand if you get over there and can't adjust. Only _certain _people can do it. It doesn't mean you'll be backing out of a commitment. It just isn't the right path for you."_

"_Callie, I can't." _

"_You can't back down from what, Arizona?" _

_Can't back down from what, Arizona?_

Callie.

* * *

Callie was preparing to visit some hospitals on the East Coast to present her research on cartilage. Cartilage from scratch. It was like she had baked homemade cookies or something the way the hospital was talking about her. She hated public speaking more than anything. Usually Arizona helped with this. _Arizona_. She shut down her mind before she could go any further. She had to pack. They were short trips, spaced out over time. Webber couldn't afford to temporarily replace her. She was going to Florida first, a hospital in Miami, one in Jacksonville, and another in Tallahassee.

She was going early, so that she could spend some time with her family. Her family, who still didn't know about Arizona leaving. She intended on saying it was a short trip, and that she would be back. Because that's what she believed. She knew deep in her heart that Arizona would be back. She would come back to her. She grabbed that last of her shoes and stuffed them in the duffle bag. Her plane was leaving in a few hours and Mark was supposed to be here any minute to take her to the airport.

* * *

By the time Arizona had gotten everything processed so she could go back to the states, it had been another month. The Chief had been right, the committee completely understood. They revoked the funding, but not the award. She had won fair and square. It just hadn't worked out for her. They wanted people completely dedicated to their cause and she was no longer a candidate. She had already shipped most of her belongings home to her parents. All that was left was a large duffle bag and a backpack. She walked through the airport; her plane was leaving any minute. But the airport here was confusing.

Finally, she found her gate and slipped onto her plane. "Flight 508 from Malawi International, Malawi, Africa to Miami, Florida, USA preparing for takeoff."

* * *

Callie landed and walked out of the terminal into the waiting arms of her mother. "Niňa," her mother wrapped her arms around her. "Welcome home." She breathed in the familiar scent of her mother and smiled genuinely for the first time in ages. Her mother took one of her bags and they headed out to her father, who was waiting with the car. She embraced him.

"Mija," he said. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Papa," she said.

"But where is Arizona?" he asked. "We thought she would be coming with you."

He felt her tense and she knew it. She knew better than to lie, at least completely. "Arizona is in Malawi, Africa. She won a grant and is doing some research over there. We keep in touch," she added.

Her father looked at her, concern written in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

_No dad, because my girlfriend who I love more than life itself choose Africa over me_. "Yes, I'm okay." He didn't push her, but pulled her back into a hug and they got into the car.

* * *

Arizona had a three hour layover in Miami before getting on the plane that would take her home. She decided to go get some lunch, but the second she walked out into the blazing sun she saw it. A huge billboard advertised that Dr. Calliope Torres would be at Jackson Memorial Hospital presenting research the next day. She stared at the billboard until a cart of luggage ran into the back of her legs.

"Get out of the way!"

She sidestepped and then turned back into the airport. She had to cancel her flight.

* * *

Callie was nervous, but since Derek had brought back the lecture circuit, she was much more comfortable in front of crowds. She was organizing her notes and the first slide of her presentation was showing on the screen. She felt much more professional than that first time. She had mingled with the department heads, chatted up some residents who were really into her research, and overall had enjoyed herself. The chief of surgery introduced her and her bright smile lit up the room.

Arizona had managed to slip into the back of the lecture hall. She took a deep breath; it had been a long time since she had seen Callie. She looked happy. That made Arizona smile. The Latina launched into her speech and Arizona marveled at how much Callie had grown in confidence. That is until a hand clamped down on her arm and she was dragged out of the room.

"Explain yourself," a very angry Carlos Torres stared her in the eye.

She gulped. _Oh no_. "I won the Carter Madison Grant. It's not something you turn down."

"Calliope does not lie. But she is not telling the whole truth, because she says you are in Africa. So I have to wonder, why are you in Miami when Callie thinks you are there?"

"I came home early," Arizona said. _Very very early_. "I had a transfer here, during my layover I saw the billboard announcing that Calliope was presenting here. I cancelled my flight. She doesn't know I'm here. I didn't know I'd be here. I was headed to Seattle to surprise her."

"To surprise her?" he said. "Because I know you are a girl, but I will still hurt you Arizona Robbins if you hurt my little girl."

"To surprise her." She nodded. Then she had an idea, to wrap her father into the plot and make this seem like it was the plan all along. "Will you help me?" Callie's father looked at her inquisitively. "Do you know when she is going home?"

* * *

When Callie left her parent's that evening for Jacksonville, she knew something was up. Her father had a suspicious sparkle in his eye. But he wouldn't crack, just lovingly kissed her cheek and sent her off in the cab. She had no idea that Arizona was on the phone with her father and getting ready to walk into her parents' home. She hummed quietly and went over notes from that day's presentation. She thought it went well. Hopefully these next two stops would go equally well and she would be back in Seattle by Friday.

Thursday night, Callie lugged her stuff through the front door of her apartment and dumped it at the door. The hair on the back of her neck prickled, but she couldn't place her sense of wariness, so she gave it over to fatigue.

* * *

Arizona waited, perched on the bed, smoothing over her skirt. Carlos had just texted her saying that Callie had called from outside the apartment building. She had been waiting with Mark until she got home. Anticipation was building. The lights were off. She didn't know how Callie would react. She shivered at a chill that crept up her spine.

* * *

Callie breathed in a deep breath. Then it hit her. Arizona. It smelled like Arizona. Maybe she was just going crazy. She hadn't heard anything from the blonde and she knew Arizona would have called her the minute she got back if the plans had changed. But it smelled so much like Arizona. Tears sprang unbidden to her eyes.

* * *

Arizona heard the sound of muffled sobs. This was not going as she had planned. As she debated whether or not it would be wiser to open the door and go out to Callie or continue to wait, the knob turned, and the lights came on.

* * *

The first thing Callie noticed was that there was someone sitting on her bed. She screamed. The figure stood up and Callie backed away. Her eyes had not yet adjusted from the dark of the apartment and they were clouded with tears.

* * *

Arizona realized Callie didn't recognize her. And that there were tears clouding her vision. She tried to go to her, but it just made Callie back away. "Calliope?"

* * *

Then she heard the voice. Arizona. She stood paralyzed. It really was Arizona. "Arizona?"

She ran to her, wrapped her arms around her neck, and buried her face in her hair. It took Callie a moment to react, before she returned the embrace, squeezing her love against her. "Oh Callie, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Arizona said it over and over again. She pulled back enough to look into chocolate eyes. "Callie."

"Arizona," Callie said, and she kissed her. A hard demanding kiss, there would be time for sweet nothings later. "Oh Zona." Her hands were in the blonde's hair when she felt Arizona's hand creep up her neck. Then Arizona pushed her against the wall, attacking her viciously, kissing her hard, bruising her lips.

"I've missed you so much," Arizona said, pulling back enough for them to both grab some air. "I'm so sorry Callie."

Callie stared at her. How had she gotten here? Who let her in? How did she know she was going to be gone or when she was going to get back? When had she gotten back from Africa? Why hadn't she called? "Why didn't you call?"

"I-" Arizona was cut off by the chime of her phone saying that she had received a message. Callie reached the phone first.

"How did it go?" She read. "How did what go?" she turned to Arizona. "Who is this from?" Callie turned back to the phone. She recognized the number. "Mark? Mark knew you were here?"

"Callie, I-" but again she was cut off by her phone ringing. She had a phone call. She watched Callie's eyes go wide as she understood the phone number. Her eyes shot to Arizona and handed her the phone. "Hello. Hi Carlos. Yes, yes, she just got in. Mmhmm. Yes, she was surprised. Do you want to talk to her?"

Callie gave her an incredulous look but took the phone. She immediately launched into rapid Spanish that Arizona could not understand. She stomped around the room, throwing her free hand into the air, then slamming it on her hip. Arizona watched, wondering how she had ever let herself walk out of Callie's life. At first, it sounded like Callie was angry, and then slowly she calmed down.

Arizona was tired of Callie talking to her dad, this was their reunion. So she simply bent over and slipped out of her shoes. Then she took off her necklace and laid it on the dresser, and her earrings with it. She caught Callie looking at her out of the corner of her eye. She pulled off her sweater, the tank top underneath riding up a bit. That definitely got her attention.

"…Adios," she said into the phone before snapping it shut and laying it on the nightstand. "Ari, what are you doing?"

"Getting comfortable," she said, slipping off her skirt and pulling a pair of shorts out of her bag. She bent over, giving Callie an excellent look at her ass, and pulled the shorts up slowly.

"Arizona."

She whipped around. Callie was sitting on the bed, her wide eyes full of emotion. It cut her breath from her chest, to see the woman she loved hurting so much. "What did your father tell you?"

"You were in Miami that day. The day I gave my presentation. You were in the room," Callie said, slowly, processing it in her head. "You were in the room. You were in the room and didn't even come up to me."

"What would that have done to your presentation?" Arizona asked." You wouldn't have been able to give a presentation."

"But-"

"Plus, your father dragged me out of the room, demanding to know what I was doing there."

"But-"

"So I got him in on it and I've been trying to surprise you ever since."

"But what about Africa?" Callie deadpanned. Her eyes searched Arizona's, waiting for an explanation.

The blonde quickly crawled across the bed and put a hand on Callie's face. The Latina leaned into it. "Africa was not the dream I thought it would be. My dreams, my plans, they changed the moment you walked in the door. You are my whole world. I couldn't stop thinking about you for a second. Africa was not the future of medicine; it was trying to raise the living standards in a very poor country. Africa was not my dream. Because you were not there. And because I wasn't doing what made me happy." Silent tears were streaming out of Callie's eyes. "Oh Calliope, I'm so sorry."

"I thought, I thought we were happy, and then you, and Africa," Callie choked out. She did not want to give into the sobs. Not tonight. "You picked Africa, Arizona."

"Before I left, I told Teddy that I couldn't back down. And she said, 'Back down from what?' And I couldn't answer her. I thought it was my commitment. When I make a commitment I follow through with it."

"I know you do."

"It took me getting over there to realize that the commitment I couldn't back down from was my commitment to you. Everything else took second place. I couldn't back down from loving you. After the first week was up, I petitioned to be removed from the project."

"Zona."

"It's only taken this long because of paperwork. They took back the money. I sent my stuff to my parents. I've been waiting for this day for a month."

Callie shook her head into Arizona's hand. "You left me. You left me here, alone. You got on that plane to Malawi and I had a panic attack. I blacked out. I woke up in the hospital two days later! With no Arizona. I didn't even know how to contact you, to tell you. You left me alone!"

Arizona searched Callie's eyes, and then she stopped. "When?"

"When what, Arizona?"

"When did you have that panic attack?" It flashed in her mind. EMT's running in the direction she had come from. The feeling that pricked the hair on the back of her neck that something bad had happened. That she should have turned around.

"As soon as you were out of sight."

Shame flooded through Arizona. She had known something was wrong. And she had walked away from it. "Oh Calliope, I'm so sorry. Oh my baby."

Callie pulled away from her. "You were willing to leave me, leave us, for three years. After we moved in together, after the baby thing, after the shooting. I loved you! We've been through everything that a couple should never have to go through and we still made it. And then you chose Africa, over me. Africa! Over us. You didn't just break my heart, Arizona. You shattered it."

"Cal-"

"Ever since that day, my life has been defined by your absence. Every single day, I have woken up and there has been no Arizona. Every single day I have lived with the ghost of your memory. There was no Arizona. There was Mark. That's all I had, was Mark. And he's got his own Lexie stuff to deal with. I woke up in that hospital bed to Mark. No Arizona." She had been getting louder and louder, backing further and further away from the woman who had ripped her heart out.

"You think it didn't hurt me?"

"You made the decision to go to Africa, Arizona. I didn't make you. No one made you. You had a choice. And you made it. And you made it by yourself. You took my heart, and you shattered it into a million pieces."

"Calliope."

"NO!"

Arizona stepped back. The volume of Callie's voice hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Don't you DARE Calliope me!" She was shaking. "You demanded that I not move to Portland. You. Demanded. That. I. Not. Move. Because you were my girlfriend. Because you had a say. You didn't give me a chance! Not a single chance to have a say. You decided to go to Africa on your own. And don't give me any of that crap about how it took you so long to decide and about how Teddy said this or Teddy said that. Because that's all it is Arizona. It's crap! You made the decision to go to Africa the second you found out you won. And now, now I'm just supposed to take you back?"

Arizona didn't answer, she was stunned.

"Do you know what it has been like to have everyone at that hospital looking at me? Day in and day out? Just staring at me? Wondering what is going to happen to me? Like I'm a crazy person, like I belong in the psych ward? I'm pretty sure Mark tried to have me committed at least once."

"I-"

"YOU CHOSE AFRICA!"

Arizona hadn't realized that tears were streaming down her face. She hadn't realized that the hem of her shirt was knotted in her hands. She hadn't realized that she had backed against the wall because for the first time Calliope Torres had snapped on her and she was scared. She was scared that Callie was right. She was scared that Callie was going to tell her to leave. She was scared because she knew Callie was right, and she had every right to walk away.

Callie watched Arizona slide to the floor as her legs gave out. She gasped, her tirade leaving her at a loss for breath. The red faded out of her eyes. But the anger lingered. The anger that had been building beneath the surface of the sorrow and heartbreak. This was the angriest she had ever been. More so than when her father had disowned her. More so than when Erica left her in a split second. More so than when George slept with Izzie. More so than when Izzie humiliated her in front of the entire cafeteria.

"And then," she said much calmer, "and then you came back, and I didn't even know you were here. You didn't text me, or call me. You were in the same god damn room and I didn't even know it. You were in my house, ten minutes after I left, plotting this, this surprise you call it. I thought you were still in Africa. As happy and thrilled as that damn letter you sent me said. With what? One line relating to the fact that you missed me. One freaking line?"

"Africa wasn't what I thought it would be," Arizona said softly.

"Yeah?" Callie snapped, "Well we weren't what I thought we were either."

They stayed in silence while Arizona absorbed what Callie had just said. The only noise was the strangled breaths that forced their way in and out of lungs. Then Callie sank onto the bed, laid her head in her hands, and sobbed.

"I walked into my apartment tonight and I could smell you. Arizona was in the air. I thought I was hallucinating. That maybe I should have been committed. Because you are all I have thought about since the moment you were out of my line of sight. I see you everywhere. I thought I was going insane. And here you are, flesh and blood, and smiles and kisses, and Arizona. And I want to…I want to run. Because I can't deal with this. I can't deal with you making all of the decisions. You decided I wasn't going to Portland, you decided I was going to grovel with the chief, you even decided you didn't want to date me and then you changed your mind. You decided that I wasn't good enough to have babies with. You decided I was going to talk to my father. You decided to talk to him without even asking me. You, you, you. You decided you were going to Africa. And now you've decided to come back. Now I'm deciding."

"Can I just-"

"No, you lost that privilege the moment you stepped foot on that plane. You lost the privilege to decide what becomes of us. Now it's my decision," Callie snapped. Arizona's defeated eyes met Callie's defiant ones.

"I tried to surprise you."

"Well, I guess the surprise is on you." The edge in Callie's voice was a warning to Arizona. The edge in Callie's voice made her stop trying to talk. She had every reason to be pissed at Arizona and she knew it. After a few shaky breaths she dissolved into quiet sobs.

Callie was right, and she hadn't meant to hurt Callie so badly. But she knew everything the Latina said was true. And she knew without a doubt that she had no idea what Callie would chose. She had had to go to Africa. If she hadn't, she would have never known what it could have been and it would have followed her for her entire life. But, in retrospect, if Callie wanted nothing more to do with her, she knew that would haunt her. Callie made her complete. Callie made her want to be alive. Callie made her truly happy and perky and all those annoying adjectives she associated with her. Callie made her want to skate around on wheelie sneaks because when she was on them she felt like she could fly and that's how Callie made her feel. Like she could fly. If Callie didn't want to be with her anymore, it was her decision, but Arizona knew she would never recover from it. She would never feel for anyone what she felt for Callie.

Callie crouched down in front of Arizona. Her tanned hand slipped underneath blonde curls to pull the beautiful face hidden by them up to look at her. Arizona shifted her gaze, refusing to meet Callie's chocolate eyes, afraid by what she would find in them. Strong hands cupped her cheek and gentle fingers brushed away her tears. "Zona."

Arizona closed her eyes, the gentleness in Callie's voice broke her even more. She tried to shake her head, but Callie wouldn't have it. "Calliope, I'm so sorry."

"Zona, look at me." Slowly Arizona opened her blue eyes and looked at Callie. She expected to see anger, maybe even hatred. Hurt. Aggression. Defiance. But chocolate eyes only held concern and love. They had lost most of the edge that her voice had held. Callie leaned in and kissed Arizona softly. She felt Arizona melt. She sat back and smiled. "Come to bed with me Arizona."

"Callie, I can't. Not if you haven't made up your mind. I can't."

"My decision. Get in the bed Arizona." She almost growled. When Arizona got up and slid into her normal place in Callie's bed, she shed her jeans and top, pulling on her favorite pajamas before sliding into bed beside the blonde who had shattered her heart. The blonde who was the only one who could put it back together again. Callie knew what her decision would be, but she had to make Arizona believe that there was a chance she could walk away. Arizona had to know that she was making the decisions. Just as she leaned over to wrap her arms around Arizona's pale torso, her phone rang.

"Daddy!" she said upon answering. "No, no soy bueno. Pero seré. Arizona rompió mi corazón y ella, tengo que demostrar a ella que hizo. Lo trabajamos fuera. Por favor, por favor parada que me llama. Le llamaré cuando tengo algo decirle. Sé. Sé. ¡Papá! Sé lo que significa a mí. La adora. Ahora complazca, permitió que haga esto. Sí, sé. Papá, ella es el único que puede poner mi espalda de corazón juntas, yo sé eso. Pero tiene que comprender que podría irme. ¿Visto bueno? ¿Comprende? Te quiero. Buenas noches."

She sat the phone back with a sigh and wrapped Arizona up in her arms. Arizona was completely limp. Hearing Callie speak heartfelt Spanish again, most of which she actually understood or thought she understood, it took her breath away. She knew Callie had told her father that she loved her. And she thought rompió translated into broke, so she broke her heart. Something about a pain in her heart also. She sighed deeply as Callie nestled in around her. "Why?" Callie breathed.

"Because I'm an idiot."

"Arizona."

"Because I thought I could do it all. I thought that I could make everything work. I thought you would still be here waiting for me. I thought that by some twist of fate I could walk back in at any time and it would as if time stood still. Because I loved you and there was a huge opportunity for me. I didn't know what I was walking away from."

Callie shifted and looked at the ceiling. She thought she could walk away and come back and everything would be normal. "Did you forget that I was a person?"

"Calliope, no."

"No, no Calliope. None of that."

"Callie, I didn't forget you were a person. I didn't treat you the right way, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry mi amor. I'll never make it up to you. Not even if we had a hundred kids."

Callie chuckled. "I don't think we could manage that. That's quite a lot of kids. You'll make it up to me Arizona. If I give you a chance, eventually, you'll make it up to me. I just have to figure out if I have enough left to give you that chance. I…I really don't know."

* * *

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't cut your balls off," Callie snarled at a still very much groggy Mark Sloan the next morning. When he opened his eyes and saw Callie's face inches from his own he screeched and jumped back, knocking his head on the headboard. "One good reason Mark."

"Callie, I thought you and Blondie were gonna make up and be happy," Mark said, rubbing his head.

"You knew she was here. She waited in your room until my father called her and told her I was outside. How long was she here Mark? What, you couldn't text me undetected to let me know that I wasn't actually being robbed it was just my girlfriend who broke into my apartment?"

"You said girlfriend, you didn't dump her ass?" Mark asked. "See, I would've hit her, actually, I almost did until she said that she had your father in on it."

"Mark," Callie growled. Then she fell into his embrace, "I don't know what to do."

"What, what do you mean?"

"How do I just take her back? After everything she put me through?"

"You told her you would wait for her."

"She didn't even tell me she got back! I screamed at her all night."

"Good."

Callie looked up, "Good?"

"You needed to do that Cals, you needed to let her know exactly what she did."

Callie sighed. "Mark, what do I do?"

He didn't answer. Callie had already made her decision. He knew. Callie would take Blondie back. They were meant for each other and anyone could see that. He just didn't know if Arizona knew that. "What did you tell Arizona?"

"That this was my decision. She's made every single other one for me. That I didn't know if I had anything left to give for her to have a chance at fixing what she broke."

"Callie," Mark said in a warning tone.

"No Mark, she needs to know that I could walk away if I chose. That I have a choice in the matter. That I have been this hurt. Because even though I would take her back in a second, she did hurt me this bad."

"I don't know about that Callie."

"You tried to have me committed to the psych ward, Mark!"

He chuckled, that had been a fun day. "Okay, okay Cals. Just make sure you know what you are doing. And make sure that she knows you love her. Because you do, love her."

"I know Mark."

* * *

Arizona was just waking up when Callie walked back through the door. She stiffened when there was no Callie beside her, but then the door to the bedroom opened and Callie was there. "Hi."

"Hi."

Callie stepped inside and closed the door. Then Arizona tensed. Her eyes went wide and her breath hitched. Callie was going to kill her.

Callie realized what Arizona was freaking out about a moment too late. "No, Callie. Don't do something you'll regret. Think about your career." Callie looked down and laughed. "This?" she asked, holding up the kitchen knife.

Arizona's breath was coming in short, shallow breaths.

"This was for Mark."

"Oh my god," Arizona gasped.

"Arizona, calm down. I just threatened to cut his balls off." Callie sat the knife down on the dresser before crawling onto the bed and up to the gasping blonde. "I have much better ideas for you."

She gulped, "And, and what would those ideas be?"

Callie leaned in and ran her lips lightly over Arizona's neck. "I think you'll figure it out." She captured Arizona's lips with her own, the softest, and lightest kiss she had ever given the blonde. Her hands ran up Arizona's arms. Arizona groaned. Callie smirked.

"Wait," Arizona pulled back. "What does this mean? Does it mean that you've made your mind up?"

"No, it means I need a help in that area and I really, really, want you," her voice was dripping with desire. "It means that I want to kiss you and touch you and feel you and be with you again."

Arizona took a shaky breath, "Oh-okay." Callie's lips had found the shallow pit at the base of her neck and were sucking gently in between nibbles. Her hands had trailed down Arizona's back to grab the hem of her tank top. She pulled it off and then returned to Arizona's neck and shoulder, leaving gentle bites smoothed over with her tongue. One hand was on Arizona's hip, the other on her thigh, gently stroking the soft skin. As she continued with her kisses she noticed the tan lines Arizona had on her arms and legs. "Nice farmer's tan, Africa."

Arizona tensed, but then she realized that Callie was just picking on her, not blaming her. At least not this time. She felt the heat between her legs grow as Callie's gentle strokes neared her center. Teeth were nibbling on her ear and her bra was being peeled off. Then there was a hand on her breast, molding and tweaking, she felt her nipple get hard in response to Callie's touch and then a warm mouth and stroking tongue captured it. Arizona let her head fall back, she had missed this. God she had missed this. Part of her thought that she should touch Callie back. She tried to put her hands on Callie, to get her shirt off, but Callie pushed them away with a growl. "Don't." Then she kissed Arizona, pushing her tongue into her mouth. She forced Arizona back into the bed, until she was on top of her. She was in charge, Arizona understood.

Breathing got harder as Callie kissed Arizona harder, longer, bruising her lips. She moved from Arizona's lips to her other shoulder, leaving bruising bites. She wanted Arizona to have reminders. Her hands were at Arizona's hips, slowly and teasingly pushing her shorts down and running her nails over newly exposed skin. When her mouth found Arizona's breasts again, she ripped off the shorts that had been hindering her and ran her finger through slick wet folds that were getting wetter with every flick of her tongue. Arizona gasped, and her hands found their way into Callie's hair. She didn't try to push Callie down to where she needed her though; for fear that she would lose the privilege to touch the raven hair in the first place.

Callie swirled her tongue into Arizona's navel, getting pleasure out of the gasp that greeted her ears. Then she sat back, letting Arizona wait and wonder. Her fingers gently slipped inside of Arizona and the blonde arched her back. She slowly moved in and out of her lover. Arizona whimpered. Callie knew what she needed. But it was her decision to give it to her. Arizona bit back a frustrated sigh. Then Callie lowered her mouth and sucked in Arizona's clit, her tongue sliding against skin as Arizona moaned. Her thrusting became faster, harder, pushing Arizona to her climax. One last flick of her tongue sent Arizona over the edge and she collapsed against the bed. But Callie had no intentions of letting her recover. She rolled her hips against Arizona's thigh. Arizona whimpered.

"I need you, Arizona," Callie said. She was being demanding. But sometimes the only way to make Arizona understand was in the bedroom. Or the supply closet, or the on call room, or the kitchen floor, wherever it happened to occur. Arizona's shaky hands pulled off Callie's top and then Callie slipped out of her pants. Callie didn't let her lover roll her onto her back. She was staying on top for this one. She wanted to ride Arizona. Her hips rolled against Arizona again. "Touch me."

Arizona saw the lust and need in Callie's eyes, it sparked her into action. She could never say no to those eyes. She reached up and quickly did away with Callie's bra. Her mouth connected with Callie's full breast and she moaned against it. This, she'd missed this too. Her hand roamed Callie's body before settling between her legs, stroking her to oblivion. The Latina bucked her hips into Arizona's hand as she shattered over her. Arizona gently eased Callie down to lay with her. She showered her face with kisses, her hands trailed gently up and down her body.

Callie felt Arizona pulling her back together. Her soft touch brought her back to consciousness. Her soft kisses calmed her heart. She turned and kissed Arizona softly. "I love you, Arizona Robbins. I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

Arizona laughed lightly. While she knew it was impossible, she understood what Callie was trying to say. "And I love you, Calliope Torres. I'll never make you have worry about that."

"I'll always worry about it, Arizona."

There was a truth to Callie's words and they laid together in silence, soaking in what had happened to them. Suddenly, Callie started crying again. "No, no baby, shhh, baby. It's okay. I'm right here. No tears baby."

"You left. You left." Callie sobbed. "I asked you not to. I pleaded with you to not leave me. Don't leave me Arizona. You did. I missed you so much. Life doesn't exist without you Arizona."

"Callie, my world begins and ends with you." Arizona looked into her eyes, "It begins and ends with you, Callie." She let Callie cling to her while she sobbed, comforting her the best she knew how.

Callie felt the anger leave her body, leaving her with cold acute heartache. It was a heartache that only the woman holding her could cure. It was a good thing she was a doctor. Then suddenly her pager went off. She sighed, "Can you hand me that?"

"Sure."

"911. Shit. I have to go," Callie said. "You're coming to the hospital today. You're coming to the hospital and you're going to beg the Chief for your job back. You're going to get your job back. I don't care how you do it. Just do it Arizona."

When Callie walked out of the apartment, it was all Arizona could do to stop smiling. They had a long road ahead of them, but Callie was giving her a chance. Callie was giving her a chance that she probably wouldn't have given herself. She had gone to the moon and back for Arizona and the latter saw that. She wouldn't let Callie down. Not this time. She slowly made her way out of the bed and found herself some decent clothes to wear. It was time to grovel.

* * *

She was fuming by the time Callie found her later. Not just because of the fact that the Chief was expecting her, but because he had this greater than thou attitude like he knew she would be back.

"So you didn't get the job back?"

"Of course I did, that's what I'm mad about!" Arizona fumed at Callie during lunch. "He was like expecting me and just handed it to me. I didn't even cry!"

Callie chuckled. It felt so good to be back here with Arizona. It felt right. She felt like she belonged again. People weren't looking at her like she was crazy. They were looking at her like she was okay again, like everything was perfect again. _It is_, she thought. She watched Arizona eat her chicken salad, her own morsel forgotten on her fork. _It's perfect_.

Arizona looked over and caught her staring. "What Calliope?"

Shaking her head, she turned her eyes back to her own salad. "Nothing."

"I missed you."

The words shot through Callie, her salad was forgotten. She stood up, grabbed Arizona by the wrist, and pulled her away from the table. Arizona stumbled behind Callie before kicking into her wheels and letting Callie pull her down the hall, like they had done countless times before. She fell into Callie when the brunette stopped, and then stumbled forward again when Callie pulled her into an on call room. Arizona found herself against the door, caught in one of Callie's deep passionate kisses. Hands cupped her ass and she moaned into Callie's mouth. Callie responded by kissing her deeper, pulling her closer, grinding her hips into her. "I missed you too," Callie said huskily. "More than you'll ever know."

* * *

Arizona had been back for two months. Two whole glorious months. The world was right again in Callie's mind. Her heart was still healing, but that was to be expected. But Arizona was back, and that was all that mattered to her. It was beginning to feel as though she had never left. Beginning to, being the operative word. She was still startled sometimes to wake with Arizona by her side. And at other she had panic attacks when she woke with Arizona gone. She had to calm down and remind herself that it hadn't all been a dream. Arizona had come back to her.

Right now, as she was making dinner, Arizona was at the hospital. In fact, she looked up at the clock, the blonde should be getting ready to leave. She would be home just in time for the fabulous meal Callie had cooked up for her, and then be ready for some fabulous dessert later. She sighed and raised her glass of wine to her lips.

Her pager buzzed.

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" she cried. Running to the table, she snatched it up. 911. From the Chief. This had to be serious. "Fuck!"

She pulled the food out of the oven. Even if she left Arizona a note she would probably burn the whole building to the ground. She quickly covered it up with foil before racing into her room and dressing in clothes that were appropriate for work. She ran out of the apartment, then ran back in and turned the oven off. After making sure everything was turned off, she ran out again.

Practically flying, she made the quick jump to the hospital in record time and ran into the ER. A nurse was waiting with a yellow emergency gown and she quickly donned it while pulling her scrub cap on. "Where am I going?"

"Trauma 2."

She pushed open the door. "What do we go-"

Callie stopped cold, frozen to the spot. The door caught on her foot, leaving it propped half open.

No.

Arizona was lying on the table.

No.

Everything stopped. Time. Movement. It all stopped the moment she saw Arizona on the table. She was faintly aware of someone calling her name. Nothing mattered.

"Torres!" Owen Hunt shook her. She snapped to attention and looked at him.

"Torres, you're the only one who can fix her legs," Webber said.

Callie's eyes shot to him, "How?"

"Give her details people, this is just another car accident victim, let's go," Webber called. Everyone jumped back into action. Callie shakily took the chart and began to quickly read. Car accident. Through the windshield. Dash crushed legs. Four cars involved. Arizona worst.

"Torres, let's go," Hunt said. "If you want to save her."

Callie jumped into action. Her mind numbed over until all she saw was another patient. Her skilled hands quickly located the breaks. Before she set them, she ran her hands up pale, slick, blood covered legs to the hips. If she popped them back in, Arizona would start bleeding profusely, and she would wake up. But she had to set them.

"Okay, when I set these, she's going to start bleeding. Is an OR ready?"

"Ready and waiting," Lexie called from the door.

"On Torres," Hunt called as Callie vaulted onto the gurney. She kept the broken bones from moving as they hurtled down the hallways towards the OR. Once the gurney was set, she scrubbed in and when everyone was in place, she set the breaks. Immediately the monitors went crazy and Arizona woke with a shriek. She was immediately gassed and they went to work on her legs to stop the bleeding. Callie quickly pinned and set the legs before stepping back to let the others do what they needed to do. She backed away and motioned for a nurse to remove her mask. She breathed deeply, trying to stop the onslaught of emotion barreling her way.

"Okay Torres?" Webber called. She nodded. _This is not Arizona. This is not Arizona, just another patient._

"BP is crashing."

"She's bleeding out. This is a lot of blood."

"This is the best pediatric surgeon in the country. We will NOT let her die!" Webber roared.

Callie started hyperventilating.

"Someone get Dr. Torres out of the OR," Webber called. She vaguely felt a nurse tug her hand. She followed blindly, barely registered the oxygen mask being fit over her mouth, desperately gasping for air. This was not happening. Not to her. Not again. First George; who didn't even compare to Arizona. She would not die. She would not die. She would not die.

There will be an Arizona.

* * *

"Callie," Meredith's voice called softly.

The heartbroken orthopedic surgeon slowly turned her head and removed the oxygen mask. She desperately searched Meredith's grey eyes. They betrayed no emotion. "Yes?"

"They sent me to check on you."

"How is she?"

"She was still bleeding a lot when they sent me out," Meredith said. "There are a lot of people in there. They won't let her die."

Sobs wracked through Callie's body. "How?" she asked again.

"No one knows. When she wakes up, hopefully she can tell us."

* * *

"Who is going to tell Torres?" the question was underscored by the flat line tone from the monitor.

They stood dejectedly. The damage had been too severe, too extensive. If she hadn't gone through the windshield, maybe. Derek Shepherd recovered first. He quietly began sewing up the part of her skull he had been trying to evacuate. Owen Hunt soon followed suit. Teddy Altman and Christina Yang joined them. Alex Karev began wiping the blood from her face. Jackson Avery pulled a sheet over her mangled legs. Richard Webber disconnected the machinery from her. Mark Sloan stood there, unable to move, knowing he would have to tell Callie. He waited until everyone had backed away and pulled the sheet up to her chin. The blood had been washed away and her marks were hidden.

"I will."

* * *

Meredith Grey looked up first and saw Mark Sloan walk into the room.

The expression on his face told her what happened. She took a shaky breath, patted Callie's knee, and left them alone.

Mark Sloan sat down in the chair Meredith Grey had vacated. "Callie."

"Where is she?" she didn't look up.

"Not here."

Her head shot up, she thought he was being sarcastic. "That's not funny Sloan."

He shook his head, his eyes somber. "No Cals, she's not here."

"Mark -"

"The damage was too extensive," he said softly. "We lost her Callie." He watched Callie implode. It was that sudden and that reactive. Tears flooded her face. He had to catch her as she slumped over. He held her while she sobbed.

"Mark," she said finally.

"She's ready for you." He guided her to the OR. The surgical team still stood there. Pagers were going off, but no one moved. They lined the walls, paying homage to one of their own. He led her to Arizona's head. The team silently filed out of the room. The door clicked shut, but it did nothing to silence the shrieking wails that came from Callie.

* * *

Miranda Bailey winced painfully, "Who is tha-" she stopped. Everyone was staring at the door. Most had tears in their eyes. She looked in, and saw Callie being supported by Mark Sloan, keening into his chest. "Who, who is that?"

Her question met deaf ears. She shook Owen Hunt, "Who is that?"

"Robbins."

She let go of him and whirled back to the door. "No."

Callie's wails brought tears to her eyes. She ignored her own page, but noticed Derek Shepherd finally respond to his. The Chief followed him. "Cancel Torres' surgeries for today and reassign them for the next week," he mumbled to the nurse on duty. "Anything emergent page me."

* * *

Mark tried to soothe her, but he knew nothing would come of it. If Arizona had shattered her heart before, it had just been sucked into a black hole. He silently cursed a higher power, Callie was so good, and she deserved to be happy. Why did this always happen to her? Was she never met to be happy? He cradled her head against his chest. It wasn't fair. He would have given his life to keep Arizona alive for Callie. But there was no Arizona.

Her heart wrenching sobs subsided and she began to tremble against him. He clutched her harder but she broke free. Slowly, she bent down and softly kissed Arizona's lips. "I love you."


End file.
